The Dentist Office, Formerly Known as Hell

South Dakota, formerly the last stand for the American Indians. Germany, formerly known as home to the Nazis. Russia, formerly known as the Soviet Block(they were communists). Three of countless hellholes that freeze over to a more pleasant looking place. But on the inside you can still see the death and destruction of earlier times. (South Dakota sucks, never mind) A dentist office is no different. I used to love going but today, no dentist makes me bleed my own blood. That's right, were at war. I think it began, when I was 10 and she just scraped that tooth just right for me to have a resounding bite down on her thumb. Who's at fault? Well, obviously not me. And so it began.....
What a beautiful day I was having, the first flurries and the creation of this blog were just topping the list until I came home and found out that the dentist calls. So I jumped into the car, drove 2 miles, got out and walked into the office. There I promptly signed in and sat down, where i presumed to knock my head ever so gently against the wooden walls,waiting for my name to be called. When it was called, I hastily moved towards the hygienist, because my fate was now in her hands. Something was wrong with me deep down because this wasn't the normal friendly face I saw at the dentist office and she led me to a room that I had never been to before. The room I was used to had a window where I could watch the changing of the seasons as my teeth were polished to that nice, pearly white. BUT NO, no window, this room had a life size painting of french doors that opened into a blooming garden on a late spring day. So, I sat down and proceeded to have my teeth cleaned by the new face. As I laid there, countless songs were causing me to drift in and out of consciousness or I was day dreaming. But I only came back into the world on the occasion to spit the blood out of my mouth caused by the mutilation of my gums around my permanent retainer. So now I will break down my thoughts for you on the basis of the song that was playing why I bled in the dentist seat. Thoughts:
Kelly Clarkson- A Moment Like This
"Mrs. Cowen!" (I shout in my head, but then quickly refocus my attention on other pressing matters)
"El Flequillo"
"What does wavy have to do with anything, thats really not a pressing matter?"
"But an analogy for Mrs. Cowen is. I can't think of one. Put that on the top of my priority list......why does the unfamiliar taste of blood fill my mouth?!"
"This day sucks."
"I'm going to die due to loss of blood!?"
"She needs a new power brush? Oh shit its red?!"
Elliot Yamin (Who the hell? ..... I don't know?!) - Wait for You
"Its ok Ryan, Jesus was nailed to a cross and she is just cleaning your teeth."
"Who are you?"
"I'm God."
"Really?! Cause I thought I prayed to you that I was converting?"
"Its your conscious. I told you to back into that lady's car at Starbucks"
"Oh your a bitch. This is why we have an unhealthy relationship."
Sister Sledge - We Are Family
"Dang, the floss she is using looks like red yarn."
" This painting is pretty interesting."
"Holy shit! Theres a rabbit behind that French door"
" If I had a rabbit, its name would be Xavier."
"Thats an odd shade of sky blue."
"According to my North American bird knowledge, theres a Magnolia Warbler perched on the fence.
"Wait, the artists detailed handy work tells me that these trees are that of the White Oak species."
"HOLD UP! Shes nestling me pretty close to her chest. I feel uncomfortable! Please don't rape me!?"
"We-are-family..........I don't know the rest"
Nickelback- (Um...one of their countless hit songs. They all sound the same.)
"People might think I have tuberculosis if I keep spitting out blood like this."
"Aha! Analogy! Mrs. Cowen is like tuberculosis!
"Nah, well just settle for.....like going to the dentist, except the dentist doesn't alter my GPA.
When I awoke from this day dreaming, I was finally done. So I left that office with inflamed gums and went home to do math homework or study for my giant chemistry test, but it ended up that I just watched The Office. A different, much cooler kind of office. JELLO